Pennsyltucky

I have come to the realization that I have been laid off from my job at just the right time.

"But Dan, what do you mean by that? How can anytime be the right time to get laid off?"

Well, I'll tell you. I was laid off at just the right time so I could help out by taking pictures at VBS this year. I wouldn't have been able to do this if I was still at my job. Also, while I was still at my job I wasn't able to get the days I needed off to go on a week long mission trip to Kentucky, but now I can.

"But Dan, what will you do for income?"

Well, for now I'll be collecting unemployment. Things were very stagnant at my former job and I felt uncomfortable there because my boss and I didn't get along very well. I think it's a good thing that I'm not there anymore.

"But Dan, aren't you worried that you might not find another job?"

I don't think that this should be a time for worrying, in fact no time is a good time for worrying. How does worrying help anything? Like I said before, I was let go at just the right time so I could help with VBS and go on this mission trip. I get a chance to serve God in ways that I was not able to while I was working.

"But Dan, how will you live if you can't find another job?"

How will I live? Well first of all, Christ is life. It is not a job that will provide me with life. Too many people put too much emphasis on how important their job is to the point where their job becomes their god. Yes, I know that I need to eat, sleep, and pay the bills, but I also need to trust and have faith that God will provide. God has provided me with a family and with friends who won't let me end up in the gutter. I pray for those who aren't as fortunate as that. But I also know I can't just sit on my butt and wait for God to drop things out of the sky. I need to meet God halfway and get out there, do things, make things happen. I know that God will provide me with a new job, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be looking in the newspaper or online because I feel those are sometimes the outlets he chooses to reveal these things to us. How pointless would life be if God just handed us everything we wanted while we just sat around?

"Well Dan, you make a good point. Thanks for clearing things up for me."

You're welcome.

"Hey Dan."

Yes.

"Uh, don't you think people will think you're a little schizo talking to yourself like this?"

No comment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yes, I will be going to Kentucky next week, so there will be no blog posts next week. I will be out of range. No internet. For a week. Pray for me. Seriously, I will have a great time. I'm going to a school called Hope Hill. The school takes in teenage girls who have had a rough life. Many have been abused, abandoned, been into drugs and alcohol. So we're going there to do some maintenance work on the buildings they live in and the grounds. Weed whacking, painting, hammering nails and all that good stuff. But we'll also spend time with the girls teaching them about God and about what he has done in our lives. And we are going to talk with them not just at them. I find that the best way to connect with people is to interact with them individually and show them and tell them what God has done in my life. Just standing on a stage and talking at people and telling them what God is about without mentioning any personal stories is not as effective. We'll also do some fun stuff with them. We have some activities and games planned out. We need to let those girls know they are not alone in their suffering and that they can overcome whatever they've been through. Hopefully those who never heard of Jesus will come to know him and those who have heard of him will truly come to know who he is and what he came to do. He came to liberate.

I'll be back after next week, keep me in your prayers. God bless.

WWWE: No Job for You, NEXT!

Over the past month or so I've been talking about all the various jobs I've had throughout my life since I was 13. It almost seems appropriate in a strange way that I am laid off right now from work because I'm at a point in my story where I was unemployed.

After leaving Freshlife (the place I talked about last week) I moved three hours away from home to York, PA to start college at the Bradley Academy for the Visual Arts. I was supposed to get a job working for RPS. For some reason they decided not to hire me. They did hire my roommate though.

I had saved up a good amount of money so I was able to live on that for awhile, but it was slowly going away. I interviewed for another job. It was a telemarketing job which only lasted three days, I couldn't stand it. It was so boring repeating myself on the phone over and over and over again, I can't stand that kind of repetition. Plus, I don't really like talking on the phone all that much. After the third day of working there I told my supervisor that this just wasn't for me and I wanted to leave. She totally understood and said it's not for everyone, so I just left. It was the first time and only time I didn't give a two week notice before leaving a job.

The reason I couldn't stand working there was not just because of the repetition, but because of some of the nasty things people would say on the phone. I didn't take it personally but that didn't mean it didn't take a toll on me. Although there was this one time I was speaking with an older lady and it was around Thanksgiving. So we had a nice little discussion about how her family comes to her house at Thanksgiving. But then one of the supervisors came by and heard me talking and said "Just hang up on her." I let the little old lady know that it was time for me to go and told her good-bye. I know they were trying to run a business, but that was cold.

Another thing that bothered me was sometimes I would call somebody and I would ask for someone and the person on the other line would say that person had passed away recently. I doubt all of them were telling the truth because it happened so often but it made me feel horrible to think that I may have upset someone who was still going through the mourning process.

I was unemployed from September of 1997 to January of 1998. My money had pretty much run out and I was living on ramen noodles. Eventually my roommate was laid off from RPS, so we started job hunting together. So that will be the subject of next week, or tomorrow. I've decided to put to rest the theme days.

So let's take a moment of silence and say good-bye to Inspiring Minds Monday, Story Time Tuesday, Artsy Fartsy Wednesday, Deep Thought Thursday, and Freakin' Funny Friday. It's going to be random from here on out. I'll continue talking about my jobs daily until I catch up to the present, there's still quite a few more to go. I'll be sure to keep everyone informed on the job hunt, it started yesterday and I applied to a few places and I have a few places I'm going to call today. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you.

Story Time Tuesday ~ WWWE: It's All Natural

Job #5 was at a health food store called Freshlife, and you probably thought I was going to say McDonald's or Burger King based on the photo above. This was one of my favorite jobs. My job was to fill bags with nuts, dried fruit, rice, beans, granola, etc. to the right weight it and put it out on the shelves. I had other duties as well like straightening up the shelves, taking inventory, and shipping things out. I was introduced to a lot of different foods. I ate an ice cream sandwich made of tofu and it tasted like a real ice cream sandwich, it even had the same texture. I tried a Boca burger topped with garden fresh tomatoes, lettuce, Nayonaise, Fakin Bacon, and a slice of rice cheese. It was pretty good! I forget what kind of ketchup was on it but it was also a healthy alternative. They had a soda called China Cola that I liked too.

It was a great job, all my co-workers were great and my boss was one of the best bosses I've ever had. She was tough and made sure we did our jobs, but at the same time she was compassionate and understood if we were going through a rough time and was always cooperative if we needed time off. She definitely wasn't cold and uncomprimising like so many other employers I've had.

I made a really great friend while working there. His name is Ryan and he was the stockroom manager. We both worked back in the stock room so we got to talk all day. I was at a point in my life where I had just come to the realization of who Jesus Christ was, what he meant to me, and what he did for everyone. I was "on fire" which is a phrase a lot of Christians like to use. But I was very cocky and arrogant which is a trap that a lot of newbie Christians fall into. Ryan was also a believer but he showed me that I needed to mellow out a little and that I couldn't go around acting like I was better than everyone just because I was a follower of Christ. He taught me so much. Of course, years later I again fell into the trap of becoming a cocky, arrogant, self-righteous, (insert your own adjective here) of a person again. I recovered from that as well and I've talked about it before...just click here.

Ryan and I became really good friends. Cheesy music would play throughout the store and there was some that sounded like the background music from an episode of "The Dukes of Hazzard". So Ryan and I would act like we were narrating an episode just like Waylon Jennings. We'd say stuff like "Now them Duke boys had gotten themselves into a heap of trouble. Boss Hogg was gonna get em' this time, I reckon." We were weird.

A few of us from work were going to see "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery" at the theater one Saturday, but Ryan never showed up. I called and he didn't answer his phone. He wasn't at work the following Monday either. I received a call from him Monday after work. It was hard to understand what he was saying but what had happened was he went to a river lot party on Friday night and he took his dog with him. When he let his dog out of the car it ran up to two men and one of the men kicked Ryan's dog. Ryan came up to them and said "Kick my dog again and I'm going to kick you." Both of the men attacked Ryan and left him in pretty bad shape. He was bruised all over and his jaw was broken, it had to be wired shut.

Ryan came back a few days later and he looked horrible. He could only drink through a straw, so he drank a lot of smoothies. One day at work he said to me through his wired jaw, "When I get this stuff off, you and me are going to Burger King!" I agreed. I can't remember how long he had to have his jaw wired shut, but I think it was a month or two. He lost about 40 pounds, and he didn't have much weight on him to lose in the first place. We did what he said and we went to Burger King shortly after he had the wires taken off. Over time he gained back all the weight he had lost, and then some. Ryan's dog was okay too. He would bring him to work everyday and tie him out back. His name was Newman, named after the character from Seinfeld, I think. Ryan liked to call him "Sweet Sir Newman".

I got to know a few of the other people that worked there too. I used to carpool to work with a girl named Shelly. We would often repeat lines from Chris Farley and David Spade movies like "Black Sheep" and "Tommy Boy". There was a woman who worked there named Gail and she did a lot of community outreach stuff. We had her as a guest speaker at Valley Mosaic one time. Then there was an older lady who kept on calling me Dennis. I corrected her the first few times, but she would keep on calling me Dennis, so I let it go. It was like the episode of "Friends" that Chris Parnell from SNL guest starred on and thought Chandler's name was Toby.

The time finally came for me to leave that job because I would be moving to York, PA soon to go to college. They threw me a going away party at Pizza Hut. It was funny to see all these people who I thought were vegans and vegetarians ripping into Meat Lovers pizzas, it was awesome. I invited a friend along. I told Ryan that my friend looked like Drew Carey. The day after the going away party, I stopped by to visit Ryan at work and I said, "Did you think my friend looked like Drew Carey?" He said "Drew Carey? I thought you said Jim Carrey. I was trying to figure out all night how the heck he even came close to looking like Jim Carrey."

Ryan and I kept in touch for awhile. A few weeks after moving to York, I received a phone call. The person on phone said in a really stern voice "Is this Daniel Lewis?" I said "Yes." Then the person said "I heard you had girls in your apartment." Then he started laughing and I knew then it was Ryan. He continued to work at Freshlife and I would be sure to stop by and visit whenever I was in town. I lost contact with him when he quit his job there and I haven't really seen him since. There was one time though when I was at the courthouse in Williamsport and I saw him walking onto an elevator. I got his attention and he saw me and waved just as the elevator doors were shutting. That was the last time I saw him, it was about six years ago.

Story Time Tuesday ~ WWWE: They Called Me Zorro

I worked at my fourth job for only a few months. It was a third shift factory job for Woolrich Inc. My job title: Fabric Cutter. You know, cutter has a nice ring to it for a job title, but when you put the word fabric in front of it, it loses something. I was given a belt that I had to wear, kind of like tool belt. Its main purpose was to hold the pair of shears we used on the job. All they had left was a left-handed belt (it'll make sense in a moment) so the holster for the shears was on my left side. So when ever I'd take my shears out it looked like I was unsheathing a sword and when I put them away it looked like I was putting a sword back in its sheath. That's why they called me Zorro. It sounds better than Fabric Cutter. If you're curled up under one of those signature red and black Woolrich blankets, there's a slim chance that I cut the fabric for it. Just think of me whenever you use it.

I didn't quite get the respect that someone nicknamed Zorro would typically get though. The people I worked with were, well, I don't want to stereotype them by using a particular word, but if they could relate to the things that Jeff Foxworthy says, they might be one. Man, that was a roundabout way of saying redneck, oops!

I got along pretty well with my co-workers there but there was one guy who seemed to have anger management issues. There are control boxes that hang from above for the cranes we used for picking up the large rolls of fabric and this guy decided one night to swing the crane controls at my head. He missed and I asked him what that was all about and he said he was just joking around and if he really wanted to he would have hit me. I don't know though, the control box came pretty darn close to my head. I let it go, if he would have done it again I probably would have gone to my supervisor about it. It never happened again fortunately.

It was hard getting used to working third shift from 11pm to 7am. One guy had been doing it for over 30 years and he said he still wasn't used to it. I thought it would be a good shift to work because I could do something in the morning after work and then sleep in the afternoon if I wanted to or sleep in the morning and do something in the evening. But it didn't work that way. After work I would unwind by playing a video game and I would usually fall asleep while doing that and take a short power nap and then I would wake up within an hour or less and the TV screen would usually say "Game Over" or "You Died". I wouldn't be tired for the rest of the day, not until it was time to go to work anyway. So one night as I was holding the fabric down on the table my co-worker rolled it out on a table that seemed like it was half the length of a football field. As he rolled it out I decided to put my head down on the fabric until he came back, it was soft. Next thing I know, I look up and my co-worker is standing there looking at me and he said, "Uh, you ready?" I had dozed off for a moment, whoops.

Another night one of my co-workers was using a machine that helps with the fabric cutting process and he asked me to get the oil pan because the machine was going to need an oil change. He sent me to our supervisor to ask him where it was. So I asked him and he told me to ask another person, that person told me to ask another person, then I figured it out, he was playing a prank on me and everyone else knew what was going on. I didn't realize at first that the machine was electric. I felt like such an idiot, but hey it was 2 o'clock in the morning, I was too tired to notice it ran on electric.

Third shift was reeking havoc on my sleep schedule. My weekends were pretty messed up. I'd get off Friday morning at 7am and I'd try to stay up all day and go to bed at a normal time, but then I'd fall asleep around 6pm and wake up on Saturday at 3am. It sucked. What the heck do you do at 3am? Watch infomercials? Blah. Fortunately another place I applied to was hiring and they gave me a call. I'll talk about job #5 next week. ¡Adiós amigos!

Story Time Tuesday ~ WWWE: Playing with Knives

Job #3 was a job I took on while I still worked at Weis Markets. While looking in the paper for a new job, I saw one that looked good. Little did I know I was getting roped into a door-to-door sales job. Well, it wasn't really door-to-door, but I did have to set up my own appointments by calling people. What I was selling was cutlery, it was very good cutlery and they had a good guarantee, but they were expensive. I think the main set was $1200 and that was about 13 years ago, I don't know how much they cost now. It came with about 8 different knives and then 8 steak knives in a big wooden block. You may have seen this set of knives given away as a door prize on the gameshow, The Price is Right for the three contestants at the end of the show that don't make it on stage.

The deal was that we were paid $10 dollars per appointment and we made 10% commission on whatever we sold. Once I sold a certain amount, it would move up to 15% and so on. So when I received my first check I thought I was going to be making some big bucks. But I was wrong. My first check only had my commission on it. So I went to our weekly meeting and I brought it up. My supervisor told me that I had to do at least 40 appointments in a month to get the $10 dollars per appointment. He had neglected to tell me that earlier. So basically I would have had to quit my other job and devote my life to selling knives to make any money. It was such a scam. I didn't do it for too long after that. I found out a few years later that they dropped that rule and they paid people for every appointment, no matter how many they had and it's close to $20 per appointment now. Jerks!

We had to do some weird stuff to show how strong the knives were during our demonstrations. We used one knife to cut through a rope, and another to slice through a stack of hard leather. Seriously though, it went through it like butter. Another thing we had to do was make what was called a corkscrew penny. We had a pair of shears and we would actually cut around the edge of a penny so that the edge we cut off would corkscrew. Here, watch this video if you don't understand what I'm talking about:

No, that's not me in the video. That video was posted by a YouTube user called Larlarz. Thanks Larlarz!

Now I'm pretty sure that defacing money is a federal offense. In fact now that I remember it, one of the other sales people brought that up at one of our meetings and our supervisor told us that since we are cutting around the edge of the penny and not into Abe Lincoln's face we weren't "technically" defacing it. Hardy har-har. I think the corkscrew penny is stupid anyway, you'd have to be the Incredible Hulk to get a cork out of a bottle with that thing.

I decided to make my first appointment with my dad for practice. When I tried making the corkscrew penny, I was about halfway through and it flew out of my hand and whizzed past my dad's head. Needless to say I didn't make the corkscrew penny at any of my other demonstrations, so I just made one and showed it to people after that little incident. Also at my first demonstration I wondered just how sharp the knives were so I picked up the chef's knife and just barely touched the blade with my thumb and it cut me. It wasn't a big cut, but it was like a paper cut. So yes, they are sharp.

So I set up appointments with family members, friends, and some other people I knew, but after that I thought it would be a little strange to go into someone's house I didn't really know and show them a bunch of knives. Plus I'm not really much of a salesman. I couldn't sell a bucket of water to a man who's on fire. So that job just kind of fizzled out. I stopped making appointments, I stopped going to the weekly meetings, and I made just enough money to pay for the kit that I used to do my demonstrations.

Within the span of time that I was selling knives I quit my job at Weis Markets and got another job which I will talk about next week.

Story Time Tuesday ~ WWWE: Softball Doughnuts

I spent some time unemployed between my paper route and my next job, but that's okay since I was still in high school and living with my parents. My second job was at Weis Markets which is a grocery store chain here in Pennsylvania. I'm not sure if it has branched out into other states but I'm sure there are a few in the surrounding states. It was my job to clean the bakery after all the bakers had left. Sugar, flour, and hardened dough were everywhere by the time I arrived at work.

It was my job to scrape and clean off the tables. Wash all the trays, utensils, and huge 40lb. steel mixing bowls, and sweep and mop the floors. Once a month I had to clean the walk-in cooler, so I had to move everything out, hose the place down and then move everything back in. I liked it when the hot hose water hit the cool floor of the cooler and the place would become full of steam, it was like being in a sauna. So those were my job duties for the most part. Once in awhile a customer would ask me to write on a cake for them. These were people who weren't too picky since I wasn't very good a writing with a bag of icing. But at least it was readable, and Cake Wrecks wouldn't be around for another ten years or more, so I was safe. I also took cake orders as well.

One time I took a cake order for a deaf couple. I don't know sign language, but they were very patient and we were able to communicate pretty well since they were able to point at what they wanted and were able to know what I was saying since they could read lips. I have an uncle who is deaf, so that helped too since I was used to being around someone with a hearing disability.

In addition the the walk-in cooler, there was also a walk-in freezer, and on oven that was big enough to stand in. The oven would still be warm while I was working. So if I needed a break and I was too hot, I could stand in the cooler and cool off. If I was too cold, I could stand in the oven, which kind of freaked me out a little, but it was nice and toasty.

One day I bought a can of Coke and it was warm, so I stuck it in the walk-in freezer for a few moments to let it cool. I forgot about it though and it wasn't until the next day that I remembered I had put it in there. I thought I was going to be in trouble when I went into work, but nobody said anything. I looked in the freezer under the rack where I put the can of Coke. The bottom of the can had gone from concave to convex and the Coke had exploded out of the can all over the wall, but just underneath the rack so it wasn't a huge mess and no one must have noticed. So I cleaned it up and made sure never to do that again.

I called this post "Softball Doughnuts" because a friend of mine who also worked at Weis's used to come back to the bakery and we would make our own doughnut creations. The one we liked best was when we took a doughnut and filled it with cream until it was about the size of a softball, hence the name, softball donut. It probably had about four times the amount of cream as a regular filled donut. Yummy. Something like that would probably make me really sick now though, blah.

My favorite memory of working there was the time I played a prank on a friend who came to visit me at work. I gave her a tour of the bakery and then I showed her the walk-in cooler. When she wasn't looking I shut the door and acted like it shut on its own. Then with a panicked look on my face I told her that we couldn't get out from the inside once the door had shut and that we'll probably have to wait until morning to be let out. She bought it for a few minutes until she realized how dumb it would be do design a walk-in freezer that didn't have a way out, so she opened the door. I was such a dork back then. Sometimes I still am.

Come back next week when I'll talk about job #3. Tell me about things that happened at your jobs in the comments.

Deep Thought Thursday ~ And They Lived Happily Ever...?

We've all heard stories and fairy tales when we were kids. Most of them end with the phrase "...and they lived happily ever after. The End." But what these stories fail to mention is what happens after the story ends. What happens in the span of time which is "happily ever after"? Do we just assume the characters in the story spend the rest of their lives happy and content with no more issues or problems?

Too often we take what we hear in these stories and fairy tales and apply them to our lives as we get older. "If I would just find someone and get married all my problems will go away and I will live happily ever after" or "If I just get that big promotion I will have enough money to take care of all my problems and I will live happily ever after".

Take marriage for example. How many of us really have it in our heads that finding someone and getting married is going to end all of our problems? I know I used to think that way. Sure, it might end our problem of loneliness, or does it? It's sad, but I've seen people who are married but they are also lonely. Why? Because marriage is not a cure for loneliness. Marriage is something that takes a lot of hard work to maintain. It's about connection more than it is about attraction. No, I'm not married but I've been around long enough and I've seen enough to have realized some of these things. I am with a really great girl now, she's really smart and beautiful. I thank God for her. I'm thankful for the time that I've spent alone though. I've had time to observe. I'm glad I didn't get married at a very young age. I'm not saying it doesn't work for some people, I'm just saying it wouldn't have worked for me.

Then there are people who have no interest in marriage but like to have sex with as many people as they can. I think these people must be the loneliest people. There is no connection to the people they are with. They are just fulfilling a desire for themselves that lasts only moments at a time. It's sad. Selfishness can make a person so lonely.

What about that big promotion? You'll be all set after that, right? You'll feel free, right? Probably not. The more stuff you have, the more you'll want. We came into this world with absolutely nothing to our name, yet so many of us never seem to have enough. Freedom is not about having whatever we want, it is about being free from want. I know this is something I struggle with and I don't want anyone to think I'm standing on a soap box saying these things. I'm right in the middle of the crowd with everyone else.

So I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to say "Give your life to Jesus and you'll live happily ever after! The End!" But I'm not going to say that because it's not true. However this is how Jesus is usually presented to people by others. Give your life to Jesus and he'll solve all your problems and you can just sit back and relax, he's got it all covered. I think this is why so many people get excited when they hear about all the stuff Jesus is gonna do in their lives and then they back away when something bad happens. This whole "bait and switch" tactic doesn't work. Has anyone ever seen the "easy" button that Staples sells?



Whoop, there it is! Yes, the Staples "easy" button. A clever little device that doesn't really do anything. But it's a big red shiny button, you can't resist pushing it. You're getting fingerprints all over your computer screen, stop it! Now of course the Christian sub-culture had to go and rip this idea off just like they do with everything else, so now I bring to you:



Whoops! There...it...is. Ugh, so misleading. I understand what they're trying to say here. They're trying to take the passage in Matthew 11:30 "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" to try and send a message to people. But Jesus also said "Get ready for trouble. Look to what you'll need; there are difficult times ahead." (Luke 22:36). So to simply say, "It's just that easy" just doesn't sum it up.

Just like a marriage, following Jesus takes a lot of work on our part. There will be times of rest and peace, but there will also be times of hardship and suffering. There are some books out there written by Christian authors that tell you how to get what you want in 12 steps or 8 steps or however many steps they choose. They may as well title these books "How to Make God Your Own Personal Genie: so you can get what you want when you want it", and it will feature a picture of the author on the front cover with a huge grin and perfectly straight white teeth.



The last time I checked Jesus didn't even have a home, car, computer, or any possessions for that matter. We worship a homeless guy. He normally ate at other people's houses and slept on their futons. How does a book about getting everything you want reflect a life lived for Jesus? The fact is it's close to impossible to follow Jesus. If I told you to go and sell your house, your car, become homeless, leave your family, would you do it? I know I couldn't. But I don't think Jesus is looking for people to live the same life he lived. I think he's looking for people who take what they do have, whether it's a little or a lot, and use that for God's kingdom. To let go of the things and the stuff that we think matters so much to us. To do that we must love others unconditionally as Jesus loves us. We must not judge or condemn others, but lift others up when they are down in the dumps. Jesus looks at our hearts and what's in it (besides blood).

One thing that does bring comfort when following Jesus is to find others carrying the same load and knowing you are not alone. In 2 Corinthians 1:3 it says "He (Jesus) comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too."

Will we ever have a happily ever after? I'd like to think that when I finally get to meet God face-to-face, I will get to experience "happily ever after." Until then, I need to remember what it says in Romans 8:18 "That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens."

Hope you enjoyed this one. Come on back tomorrow!