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Blogity-blah-blah-blog: Story Time Tuesday ~ I Thought I was Offending Asians

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Story Time Tuesday ~ I Thought I was Offending Asians

Remember when your mom or dad would tuck you into bed and read you a bedtime story? Well, this is nothing like that. Tuesdays will be known as "Story Time Tuesday" I will be sharing interesting and funny stories from my life and from my friends and family as well. I'll get started with this week's story since I'm sure the title of it has you intrigued.

It was a typical day. It was about noon and I was getting hungry. I decided that I was in the mood for some Chinese food. So I drove to the local Chinese restaurant and I ordered some General Tso's Chicken, yummy, yum, yum. So I'm standing there waiting for my food when one of the cooks comes to the front. He looks at me like he's very angry, and he's holding a very large knife. He starts to run his finger across his chest and he said something I didn't understand since I'm not very fluent in the Chinese language. I only know simple words like "Hello" or "Thank you". So anyway, I started getting a little nervous and I'm thinking to myself "Is he gonna cut me up?" Then I looked down and I realized that there were three Chinese characters on my shirt. Then I thought to myself "Oh crap, what does my shirt say?" I asked the woman working the cash register what my shirt said. She told me they were just the names of people. Then I wondered "Does he not like these people?" They finally brought my food out and I paid the cashier. As I turned around I noticed that the sun was blaring in through the windows in the front of the restaurant. So the cook wasn't angry, he was just squinting because the sun was in his eyes. The End.

I hope you liked that story. I know the ending was kind of lame and anitclimactic, so I've prepared an alternate ending. We'll pick it up where I ask the cashier what my shirt says. Here it goes: ...I asked the woman working the cash register what my shirt said. She told me it said "I'm with stupid". I just happened to be standing next to the cook's wife who was there to pick him up from work. The cook jumped over the counter and said "Your shirt has dishonored my wife and I, prepare to die!" He lunges at me with his knife and I disarm him with the pair of chopsticks I picked up at the counter. After a few moments of hand-to-hand combat we both realized we have trained under the same kung-fu master. We decided to call a truce and the cook realized it was all just a misunderstanding. And from that day on we joined forces to rid the world from all injustice. The End.

I don't know if any of you out there listen to podcasts, but I enjoy listening to one called "Nobody's Listening". It's a podcast where the hosts share funny stories about their lives. They also read stories that listeners send in as well. You should check it out. The reason I bring it up is because I have sent this story in before and they've read it on the show (The real story, not the alternate one I just made up). In fact, they've read every story I've ever sent in. They also play voice mails people send in. You can find the website by clicking here.

I look forward to posting again tomorrow when I'll reveal the next theme. See you later.

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