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Blogity-blah-blah-blog: Story Time Tuesday ~ A Collection of Shorts

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Story Time Tuesday ~ A Collection of Shorts

Today I thought I would tell some short stories rather than tell one long one. These stories take place throughout different times in my life and some are about family. When you have a family like mine there are plenty of stories to tell. So let's get started with:

Mom's 40th Birthday

My family decided to throw my mom a surprise party for her 40th b-day (hence the title). It was mostly close family and a few friends. My aunt from California couldn't make it out here to the East, but she sent a video. In the video my aunt was acting like she was asleep and having a nightmare. When she woke up she said she had the most horrible dream that she was turning 40. It gave us all a good laugh, but she had some nice things to say as well. But the funniest thing I remember is telling my mom that I was half her age, I was turning 20 that year. My mom looked at me and said "You were always half my age." Hey mom, remember when I started kindergarten when you were in 5th grade? Yea, My mom's math skills aren't the best but I'd rather have a good mom than a mathematician, and she is a great mom. Her birthday is on Groundhog's Day so we always tell her not to look at her shadow on her birthday.

Buzz Off

When I was about four or five years old I was really into He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. It was getting close to Christmas and I asked my dad to write a letter to Santa for me. So I listed a few things and the last thing I asked my dad to put on the list was the He-Man character called Buzz Off. I was afraid that Santa would think that I was telling him to "Buzz Off" so I told my dad to specify that it was the name of a toy and that I was not trying to insult Santa. I did get Buzz Off that year for Christmas, yay!

Buzz Off

Boy Scouts

I was about eight or nine years old when I was in Boy Scouts. My troop went to different locations all over town with cans to collect money for charity one day. We even had the little fake poppy flowers to give away. We were collecting money for disabled veterans. As people walked I was supposed to ask them if they would like to donate money to help disabled veterans. But do you think that's what I said? NOPE! As people were walking by I would ask "Would you like to donate money to help disenabled veterinarians?" I didn't find out I was saying it wrong until my mom picked me up when I was finished. She asked me what we were supposed to say when asking people to donate. So I told her and she just busted out laughing. I felt embarrassed when I found out what I was supposed to be saying. I was young, I never heard the word veteran before so when our scout leader said it I just figured he meant veterinarians. And I don't know why the heck I was saying disenabled, it's not even a word. Why didn't anyone correct me when I was saying it?! Most people probably busted out laughing as soon as they walked in the store I was standing in front of after hearing what I had to say. So embarrassing.

Internet Dating

This one is not as embarrassing as the last story but it's kind of embarrassing talking about it on this blog. I've gone on a few dates through internet dating. It's not something I'm proud of and they were probably some of the worst dates I've been on. I was putting together my profile on one site in particular and I wanted the girls to know that I was a follower of Jesus Christ so in my introduction paragraph so I tried to be clever by saying "I'm looking for a girl who is already in a serious relationship with another man. A man named Jesus." I swear to you, I am not making this next part up. A few days later I checked my profile and I got a message from a girl. I read it and I was horrified to find out that she wanted to cheat on her boyfriend Jesus (pronounced HEY-SOOS) with me. So I think she completely misinterpreted what I was trying to say. It's needless to say that I didn't end up going on a date with her. In fact I think I sent her a message back that said something like "Sorry, wrong Jesus".

Ready for Take Off

Okay, last story, the grand finale. This is one of my family's favorite stories to tell, and we tell it to just about everyone. This story is about my grandmother. I wasn't there when this happened but my aunt told us about this. My aunt and my grandmother were on a plane and I think it was my grandmother's first plane ride. She was looking at the back seat pocket card. It was the card that showed you how to get into the crash position. She must have misunderstood what the card said because as soon as they started out onto the runway, my grandmother bent down and put her head between her knees. My aunt said, "Mom, what are you doing?!" My grandmother replied, "I'm getting in the take off position."

So those were just a few short stories for today, I hope you enjoyed them.

1 comment:

  1. Dude the internet dating story is hilarious! How come I've never heard that one before!?

    By the way, Buzz Off was one of my favs too.